What You Feel is Normal

man doing boxing
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What you feel is normal, friend
I can feel it too.
When the darkness closes in,
It covers multitudes.

As sad as that may be,
Here’s a happy truth:
It has attacked an army –
Worn, but full of youth.

In this fight, you should know,
You’re friends are by your side.
You will never be alone.
Your Savior lives, though He died,
And He will fight for you.

Beginning to Heal

As I was slipping, my internal dialogue consoled me, “You’re alright. It’s okay. It’s not that bad.” I got up, palm bruised and backside covered in mud. Standing in the chilly rain, I said, “Ouch,” to the zero people who were there. I continued around the house to locate the noise that was keeping me awake, but to no avail. It sounded like a drip drop in an empty pail. I thought I could muffle it, or move the gutter… something.

Oh well. I was already awake. Might as well at least change out of these muddy pajamas and clean myself up. Sleep would not come easily anyway, not without prescription help tonight.

Prescriptions. I needed to call the pharmacy to refill one of them. Regardless of my hesitation, I did promise the doctor to try it for six months. Five more months to go, and I couldn’t tell if it was helping at all yet. I never before had to refill a prescription in my life. I didn’t even know how.

I wish my internal dialogue was as automatically comforting when the slipping isn’t so tangible. When the fall isn’t rational. When feelings overwhelm logic, and I squirm to flee though no one attacks. “You’re alright. It’s okay. It’s not that bad. It’s chilly and raining and you’re muddy, but you’re just bruised and you have a warm shower and clean clothes inside.”

This pain is not forever, and whether I feel it or not, I have a change of clothes and a fresh perspective inside. This is the beginning of healing, even as slow as it comes.

Malachi 4:2

But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings.

In the Desert

desert during nighttime
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I am your bride in the wilderness.

I’ll follow you

In the desert, I’ll follow you.

In the desert, I’ll drink of you

The heat and sand won’t keep me from believing that you are making an oasis in this place.