You can handle the violence in my spirit, the quiet screams that sear it. They burn fears and clear pith. Draw me near with arms that destroy interference. You fight for my deliverance. I hide in the strength that fights my assailants, the purity that hates all that hates me and kills with fire the dross, selfish desire. Your counter-attack will never lack the efficacy to take me back.
Provider. Protector. Pursuer. Creator of every contour, The boundaries of me, Oxygenating every capillary, My deep breath in the sanctuary, You will not tarry. Here I wait. Right here is safe. A lesser offer, I will not take. I will wait until You come for me, without room for negotiating. You alone can save. Temporary freedoms eventually enslave. Impatience feeds the grave. You will come through. This I believe, and I will wait for You. The fullness of deliverance Is worth every ounce of perseverance. I won’t jump at the chance Of provision apart from Your hands, Protection apart from Your plans, The thrill of pursuit in corrupted lands. Grasping for Love like I’m poor, When I can’t imagine What You have in store. I’m sorry. Provider. Protector. Pursuer. No love could be truer. Your plans are good eternally, And I will listen, wait and see.
*Written February 2nd, 2019. Inspired by reflecting on Moses in Egypt. If you want to know how all that is connected, comment below!
Snow fell here yesterday And today I lay in the green On the grass in the breeze Sweet stringed melodies The light about you And beyond, the trees. This moment, freeze, Forever in my memories. Forgive this silly grin. I’m just taking it all in. The thawing of my heart Overwhelms me And though I saw it coming It doesn’t cease to be Amazing.
Try to tell me my worth And I’ll keep passing through. Held by the gravity of earth, But not caught in its monsoon.
But every now and again My head sinks to sand Beaten and left to dry By the water and the sky. Built up into tiny castles And then swiftly razed By thoughtless waves. Kicked and thoroughly sullied. Taunted by sea-gullies. Dear Jesus, I need far more than I know how to ask for. Joy beyond the sky where I can breathe without air.
I’ll hide my face above the atmosphere. Where You and I can disappear. And draw me back from the dust When this planet gets between us.
Fear. At the depths of me, That’s what kept me Immobilized Terrorized Fear of losing. Fear of loosing the floods of your disapproval. Because maybe you’re right And I am wrong. So I stayed quiet for too long. And boiled deep inside pains I tried to hide. And erupted unfairly Unexpected and unkindly. I’m sorry. What’s wrong with me? I’m sorry.
Tell me about the sunrise. Heart pounding, not breathing. Describe the colors of the skies. Peach, pale green, indigo, steel blue. Be amazed and let wonder soothe. Tell me about that one time, that story I never knew. Where you lived, How you loved, and you ran. How I’d love to see you run, and when the day is done, Tell me again about the colors by the sun.