Fear

*Another old poem, previously unpublished.

Fear.
At the depths of me,
That’s what kept me
Immobilized
Terrorized
Fear of losing.
Fear of loosing
the floods of your
disapproval. 
Because maybe you’re right
And I am wrong.
So I stayed quiet for too long. 
And boiled deep inside
pains I tried to hide. 
And erupted unfairly
Unexpected and unkindly.
I’m sorry. 
What’s wrong with me?
I’m sorry. 

What You Feel is Normal

man doing boxing
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What you feel is normal, friend
I can feel it too.
When the darkness closes in,
It covers multitudes.

As sad as that may be,
Here’s a happy truth:
It has attacked an army –
Worn, but full of youth.

In this fight, you should know,
You’re friends are by your side.
You will never be alone.
Your Savior lives, though He died,
And He will fight for you.

How I Look At You

You love when I’m hurting
How I look at You
When my soul is yearning
How I look at You
And I am delighted by Your Presence
Fulfilled in Your Presence
Even when the pain is still present
I will look at You
And when I do
Your smile down on me
Your heart bursts to hear me sing
The fullness of my every feeling
And You delight in and You love me
And I delight in and I love You
My King
I am amazed by You
My gaze is for You
And You dance around me
A whirlwind around me
Together in the Throne Room
My Bride Groom, My King

2014

A poem on the year 2014. 

Homeless; not hopeless.
It’s under control
Unemployed;  not destroyed.
You cannot take my soul
A penny for my thoughts
A penny never sought.
Endless words. “You ought”

Think back on all I learned
The lessons that I spurned
No. Not ready to be taught
Let me think of something else
Something other than myself
Or him. Definitely not him.

The good memories are the worst
They carry away my hope in a hearse
So sweet. He swept me off my feet
And my brain took a vacation.
But I remained to romanticize the pain.

Thank God it is over
and I left to gather clover
With children who keep getting older.
Babies of my sisters and brother.

And without knowing anything else,
they taught me the joy of innocence
in the little moments they would forget
But I would hold forever.

Steal My Gaze

From now until forevermore,
May I always love You more
Than all the sand on the shore
Than all the ones I hold dear
I want to love You here
In all the places I lay my head
Upon every ground I step.
I want to speak Your praise,
Louder than any song on my lips,
Thought in my mind or spoken phrase.
Let the depths of my soul be set ablaze
With the fire of Your holy name,
And nothing else ever steal my gaze.

Cold Air

All I could think about was my discomfort. The cold air rushed passed my ears, which made them throb in pain. My lungs sympathized with my ears and felt pain as well.
All I could think about was the beauty of breathing. The cold air filled my lungs and I remembered I was alive.

Sometimes, comfort isn’t what I need. Sometimes I need cold air.

Til Sunset

Fill these empty hands with Your purpose Lord.
These fists were clenched, knuckles white.
Lift them high so I won’t lose this fight.
Because you’re on my side.
You’re here fighting for me even yet.
Holding my hands up and steady ’til sunset.