Maybe it’s good enough
that God is good enough,
and I am not.
Maybe it’s enough
that He loved me enough
to show me tough love
when I fought.
Maybe my pride can find a hole and die
And my soul can accept a love
that’s not about how hard I try.
*It is. He is.
Violence
You can handle
the violence in my spirit,
the quiet screams that sear it.
They burn fears and clear pith.
Draw me near with
arms that destroy interference.
You fight for my deliverance.
I hide in the strength
that fights my assailants,
the purity that hates
all that hates me
and kills with fire
the dross, selfish desire.
Your counter-attack
will never lack
the efficacy
to take me back.
Provider. Protector. Pursuer
Provider. Protector. Pursuer.
Creator of every contour,
The boundaries of me,
Oxygenating every capillary,
My deep breath in the sanctuary,
You will not tarry.
Here I wait.
Right here is safe.
A lesser offer, I will not take.
I will wait until You come for me,
without room for negotiating.
You alone can save.
Temporary freedoms eventually enslave.
Impatience feeds the grave.
You will come through.
This I believe, and I will wait for You.
The fullness of deliverance
Is worth every ounce of perseverance.
I won’t jump at the chance
Of provision apart from Your hands,
Protection apart from Your plans,
The thrill of pursuit in corrupted lands.
Grasping for
Love like I’m poor,
When I can’t imagine
What You have in store.
I’m sorry.
Provider. Protector. Pursuer.
No love could be truer.
Your plans are good eternally,
And I will listen, wait and see.
*Written February 2nd, 2019. Inspired by reflecting on Moses in Egypt. If you want to know how all that is connected, comment below!
Spring
Snow fell here yesterday
And today I lay in the green
On the grass in the breeze
Sweet stringed melodies
The light about you
And beyond, the trees.
This moment, freeze,
Forever in my memories.
Forgive this silly grin.
I’m just taking it all in.
The thawing of my heart
Overwhelms me
And though I saw it coming
It doesn’t cease to be
Amazing.
Moon and Sand
Try to tell me my worth
And I’ll keep passing through.
Held by the gravity of earth,
But not caught in its monsoon.
But every now and again
My head sinks to sand
Beaten and left to dry
By the water and the sky.
Built up into tiny castles
And then swiftly razed
By thoughtless waves.
Kicked and thoroughly sullied.
Taunted by sea-gullies.
Dear Jesus, I need far more
than I know how to ask for.
Joy beyond the sky where
I can breathe without air.
I’ll hide my face above the atmosphere.
Where You and I can disappear.
And draw me back from the dust
When this planet gets between us.
Indelible Security
With glorious light in my face
I look over to
Love that delights in
All that I am without hiding.
He walks with me in plain sight,
Illuminating my frame.
This joy. It’s so much a part of my soul.
My body, spirit and soul.
Valuable beyond my control.
Worth set in stone.
Loved before I was known.
Joy is my story.
The certainty
of indelible security.
Unforgettable
Irremovable
True.
My Savior’s love defines me.
His righteousness assigned to me.
Now there is freedom to rest and do
With nothing left to prove
Or earn,
Only His love to return.
Fear
*Another old poem, previously unpublished.
Fear.
At the depths of me,
That’s what kept me
Immobilized
Terrorized
Fear of losing.
Fear of loosing
the floods of your
disapproval.
Because maybe you’re right
And I am wrong.
So I stayed quiet for too long.
And boiled deep inside
pains I tried to hide.
And erupted unfairly
Unexpected and unkindly.
I’m sorry.
What’s wrong with me?
I’m sorry.
Understood
Good morning, sunshine.
I missed your smile in the night time.
The shadows over your troubled mind,
covered your hope and made you blind.
But good morning, my love!
You are awake in the light of day.
You are not defined by the dumb things you say.
You are loved beyond every little mistake.
The One who loves you is good,
By Him, you’ll always be understood.
Some Books to Read
Humility – Andrew Murray *read & recommendedThe Charisma Myth – Olivia Fox Cabane *
The Autobiography of George Muller
An Illustrated Atlas – J.R.R. Tolkien
Unfinished Tales of Numenor and Middle-earth – J.R.R. Tolkien
A.D. 33 – Ted Dekker
Desiring God – John Piper
When I Don’t Desire God – John Piper
And Justice for All – John Perkins
Connecting with Muslims – Fouad Masri
Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus – Nabeel Qureshi
The Book that Transforms Nations – Loren Cunningham
Why Not Women? – Loren Cunningham
The Book that Made Your World – Vishal Mangalwadi
Cold Case Christianity – J. Warner Wallace
Us Versus Us – Andrew Marin
Tumult & Ease
Tell me about the sunrise.
Heart pounding, not breathing.
Describe the colors of the skies.
Peach, pale green, indigo, steel blue.
Be amazed and let wonder soothe.
Tell me about that one time,
that story I never knew.
Where you lived,
How you loved,
and you ran.
How I’d love to see you run,
and when the day is done,
Tell me again about the colors by the sun.
Hold Up My Hands 