Maybe it’s good enough that God is good enough, and I am not. Maybe it’s enough that He loved me enough to show me tough love when I fought. Maybe my pride can find a hole and die And my soul can accept a love that’s not about how hard I try.
You can handle the violence in my spirit, the quiet screams that sear it. They burn fears and clear pith. Draw me near with arms that destroy interference. You fight for my deliverance. I hide in the strength that fights my assailants, the purity that hates all that hates me and kills with fire the dross, selfish desire. Your counter-attack will never lack the efficacy to take me back.
Try to tell me my worth And I’ll keep passing through. Held by the gravity of earth, But not caught in its monsoon.
But every now and again My head sinks to sand Beaten and left to dry By the water and the sky. Built up into tiny castles And then swiftly razed By thoughtless waves. Kicked and thoroughly sullied. Taunted by sea-gullies. Dear Jesus, I need far more than I know how to ask for. Joy beyond the sky where I can breathe without air.
I’ll hide my face above the atmosphere. Where You and I can disappear. And draw me back from the dust When this planet gets between us.
You love when I’m hurting
How I look at You
When my soul is yearning
How I look at You
And I am delighted by Your Presence
Fulfilled in Your Presence
Even when the pain is still present
I will look at You
And when I do
Your smile down on me
Your heart bursts to hear me sing
The fullness of my every feeling
And You delight in and You love me
And I delight in and I love You
I am amazed by You
My gaze is for You
And You dance around me
A whirlwind around me
Together in the Throne Room
My Bride Groom, My King
Lately, I’ve not had much to say. On the phone with a friend last night, I mostly let him talk. There came that oft’ dreaded silence… “Well… I should let you go…”
I had thoughts, but none seemed important. Or they may have seemed valuable, but my voice did not have the strength to carry them. They resided in a place more honored by my silence.
Lately, I feel the same when talking to God. I don’t have much to say. He knows my troubles, and even the thought of mentioning them exhausts me. Not that they are much more than anyone else’s woes. The more I talk with people, the more I see that they are common. And maybe that’s what makes them feel heavier. A very deep and wide weight that affects us all, like gravity.
Waking up is hard. But this morning, I had somewhere to be, though I felt like I had nothing to bring. And that’s enough. It is enough to simply bring myself. As much as I want to be worthy of eternal love on my own, Christ gives this gift to me freely. He sees my weakness and loves me completely. It’s enough to be me. And this world I try to carry was carried for me.
And in that place, I felt the sweetness of His friendship. Not detached from sorrow, but more like my feet could be planted in it while my arms reached all the higher in love and hope. My Savior loves my friendship. And this is not some irreverent thing. It is entirely holy; built on my weakness and His strength. He carries me happily. He carries me – this happy, hurting, and growing tree. I drink freely of His love as He waters me.
Tell me why I should pry
these hands apart and try
to make and maintain
a hidden peaceful terrain
that no one else sees,
if it only blesses me.
My child, let Me explain.
Your home is my home.
The places you roam
are under my reign.
I plant flowers undiscovered
in fields under covers of snow.
Where only I know, they grow.
I make stars and galaxies
far from the sight of technology.
And I swing planets on a string
beyond your wildest dreams.
I form wonders on the floor
of oceans yet unexplored.
I set the path for birds to fly
where no heart can know to sigh
or lament its fall from the sky.
My thoughts and my creative care
What do you believe about Me?
I do not neglect the lonely.
It blesses me to bless you with peace,
And someday you will share
what has been hidden with care.